Well, the big day has come and gone. A party was indeed planned and sprung for Saturday night with several friends in attendance. The biggest surprise was my oldest sister and my niece and a wonderful surprise it was. I was thoroughly delighted to see them .... all. By the time last night arrived....the closing hours of the 60th birthday day, I was relieved to sit on my sofa fairly secure in the knowledge that it was now officially done. I figure by the time I reach 75, no one will have the energy or desire to make me the centre of attention and it will be allowed to slide by with me making my own hooplah in whatever way suits me.
Thanks to my better half. I appreciate the effort that went into this. Thanks to my daughter for all her contributions. Thanks to all who had their fingers in this pie and any form.
Now I'm looking forward to spending my pension $$$$.....first thing I'll be looking for is that elusive 1949 Featherlight with scrolled face plate. One day she will be mine!!!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
15 Days and Counting
Well, here we are 15 days before THE DAY and I'm not feeling any better about it. Not that I care that I'm turning 60, acutally I'll be doing a happy dance on the 17th for several reasons. First, I'll qualify for a specific pension, secondly my investment guy suggested we start payout on an old LIRA which is fine in my books, thirdly I will have lived to reach this landmark birthday relatively intact...feeling pretty good about myself despite my crappy shoulder, liking my more updated look that my daughter is helping me pull together, and looking forward to my son's wedding next year and new quilt projects I'm dreaming up.
I think the hitch comes to the 'celebration' of the day itself. Last summer I was talking with my brother about gardens and lillies and stuff and he said I'll see the layout when we come north in the fall. Hummmmmm....I didn't know you were planning to come North. My sister from Sunnyville was also there in the summer and she handed me a birthday gift, all wrapped and festive saying I won't be able to be there for your birthday. Hummmm this is about the 40th birthday she won't have attended but she's never said anything like that before. So it leads me to think that "something is afoot". I did mention this to my better half so he knew I was suspicious (and still am), but so far he has been mum about it all.
At this point I was trying to explain my birthday trepidation, but it was just too convoluted and seemed so ridulous as this age that I decided not to write it at all. When I turned 40 my better half arranged a surprise dinner for me which turned out to be great fun. We had a different life then .... I was working and we had a few couples that we chummed with and now, well, things are different and I guess it boils down to my fear of seeing people who feel obligated to attend a party simply because they do know me and have been asked to attend. Now there's some insecurity talking!
There I've put it out there. I hope I can release the knot in my gut and just go with the flow, let things happen and just be happy I've made it to 60.
Not sure what will happen to the blog once the 17th has come and gone. I'm already suspecting it will simply wither and die having served it's purpose. We shall see.
I think the hitch comes to the 'celebration' of the day itself. Last summer I was talking with my brother about gardens and lillies and stuff and he said I'll see the layout when we come north in the fall. Hummmmmm....I didn't know you were planning to come North. My sister from Sunnyville was also there in the summer and she handed me a birthday gift, all wrapped and festive saying I won't be able to be there for your birthday. Hummmm this is about the 40th birthday she won't have attended but she's never said anything like that before. So it leads me to think that "something is afoot". I did mention this to my better half so he knew I was suspicious (and still am), but so far he has been mum about it all.
At this point I was trying to explain my birthday trepidation, but it was just too convoluted and seemed so ridulous as this age that I decided not to write it at all. When I turned 40 my better half arranged a surprise dinner for me which turned out to be great fun. We had a different life then .... I was working and we had a few couples that we chummed with and now, well, things are different and I guess it boils down to my fear of seeing people who feel obligated to attend a party simply because they do know me and have been asked to attend. Now there's some insecurity talking!
There I've put it out there. I hope I can release the knot in my gut and just go with the flow, let things happen and just be happy I've made it to 60.
Not sure what will happen to the blog once the 17th has come and gone. I'm already suspecting it will simply wither and die having served it's purpose. We shall see.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Nanny, Banny Bo Banny
We have just come home from visiting the 'grands' in Midwestville. What a great time we had. My daughter and I did spend one decadent afternoon clothes shopping for Me (I've finally allowed myself to climb to the top of the list) and I am most pleased with my purchases. There were no big decorating jobs, no painting, no planting, just a couple of quick seams for a cushion cover and 2 tiny valances. It is interesting that as I look back on those 3 days I'm ashamed at how little time I actually sat down with the girls and just focused on them. I did play a couple of games of Candyland and 2 games of Shutes and Ladders with my oldest granddaughter, there was an interesting game of 'restaurant waitress' played by myself and the 2 girls involving copious amounts of pretend coffee "just right, Nanna, not hot". Where did all the other hours that ticked by go? The girls did play an interesting game with their Uncle J involving plastic play food and a tea set, WII golf with Daddy and Poppy, ran around outside, painted and made some kind of sand pies in the sandbox. We did sit and eat meals and the girls do go to bed early but really, tictoc tictoc time just slips away. Is it because they are still quite young and often play within the periphery of others without connecting directly? Is it because they really had quite a lot to do with all the extra people? Am I being unrealistic thinking that I could/should actually visit and absorb them for hours at a stretch???? Maybe it's enough to just BE the Nanna. I know I'm grateful to have them in my life. I love you my girls.
Friday, October 2, 2009
More of the Same
So here I am trying to sort out a design for a sweatshirt jacket. I've been going to make this for over a year now and I would like to have this to wear in Sunnyville. I think my biggest problem is that I don't have a jumping off point. I do have it laid out on my cutting table so I'm as close to starting this project as I've ever been. I'm sure it will come.
On the heels of those statements I must tell you that I have finished the Butterfly Quilt. It came together great and I let it tell me what style of quilting it wanted. Ended up with some embroidery floss running stitch flowers, some straight stitch machine quilting, some tying and some free motion machine quilting. I love it. Can't post any photos as I'll be delivering this quilt next weekend and don't want to spoil the surprise.
My shoulder has been doing interesting things. It does have a wider range of motion however I think the fact that something had been trapped in there has caused things to shorten and are now causing some pain as they are pressed into service. It is getting better, slowly but surely.
The wiring question has bloomed like a flower. We called in a couple of electricians and have received quotes, have made a choice altered our requirements by adding in some electrical work for our shed which of course complicated things anew. Anyway, looks as tho' we're on the schedule for this Wednesday so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully no rude surprises.
I have been feeling very 'compressed' while waiting for the electrical thing to sort out. Not much room for creativity to grow. I did some grocery shopping the other day and purchased an acorn squash (my favourite type of squash). Turned out it was terrific! So terrific that I went back today and bought a couple more. With the memory of frost on the roof and a nip in the air, bundled in my cosy fleece jacket I purchased ingredients for a beef stew which I put together this afternoon. Fantastic!!!!
No exciting reading with this post, no great dawning, no large spark of inspiration, just counting down the days to the Six-Oh. Thanks for stopping by.
On the heels of those statements I must tell you that I have finished the Butterfly Quilt. It came together great and I let it tell me what style of quilting it wanted. Ended up with some embroidery floss running stitch flowers, some straight stitch machine quilting, some tying and some free motion machine quilting. I love it. Can't post any photos as I'll be delivering this quilt next weekend and don't want to spoil the surprise.
My shoulder has been doing interesting things. It does have a wider range of motion however I think the fact that something had been trapped in there has caused things to shorten and are now causing some pain as they are pressed into service. It is getting better, slowly but surely.
The wiring question has bloomed like a flower. We called in a couple of electricians and have received quotes, have made a choice altered our requirements by adding in some electrical work for our shed which of course complicated things anew. Anyway, looks as tho' we're on the schedule for this Wednesday so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully no rude surprises.
I have been feeling very 'compressed' while waiting for the electrical thing to sort out. Not much room for creativity to grow. I did some grocery shopping the other day and purchased an acorn squash (my favourite type of squash). Turned out it was terrific! So terrific that I went back today and bought a couple more. With the memory of frost on the roof and a nip in the air, bundled in my cosy fleece jacket I purchased ingredients for a beef stew which I put together this afternoon. Fantastic!!!!
No exciting reading with this post, no great dawning, no large spark of inspiration, just counting down the days to the Six-Oh. Thanks for stopping by.
Friday, September 18, 2009
MAAN-1*
Huh! I must of broken down a damn of some sort since I haven't been able to stop "doing stuff" all week. Not that I'm complaining, I'm not. It just feels weird.
I could not get my Betterhalf to come out to the garden with me so I went ahead and did a couple of simple sketches and some preplanning. Turns out, he was 'into' getting the garden sorted out so we spent a couple of hours on the first day and got the front cleaned up and added some new soil and the next day we spent a combined total of about 6 or 7 hours moving, cleaning, removing things from the back gardens. We are both very happy and have only a bit a work left.....after all we just couldn't cut down the only flowers that are still blooming out there just to accommodate some lilies that are on the moving list. There will be time in October for that bit of work once the flowers are spent (or frozen!!!)
I also went to see the doctor for my physical....seems I missed last year. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. He seems to have mellowed over the years and (lucky me) I'm in relatively good health. My only real complaint these days is that my knee is achy when I climb stairs and my shoulder has been cranky for the last couple of weeks. About the shoulder, an interesting thing happened. Since it started hurting me the recurring chant of my Chinese Tai Chi For Health instructor was rolling around in my head. She taught us some tapping techniques that were meant to stimulate the pressure points along the energy pathways of the body. We would do each arm, the chest, the hips and both legs (it's been quite awhile and I can't remember the whole sequence). As we would tap our arms she would say loudly "No more frozen shoulder". Anyway, it hurt to lift my arm and I was trying to figure out what to do about it. I was standing at the ironing board (ironing all those white squares) and decided I would do some leg lifts (no they won't help my shoulder but they could help my thighs) and I stretched out my arm to put use the ironing board for balance. When I brought my hand down to the board I miscalculated the distance (okay, I was watching TV) and touched the inside of my wrist on the tip of the hot iron. AutoResponse kicked in and I yanked my arm straight up and heard a "pop" in my shoulder. Yikes, I didn't know whether I should move arm from the straight up position or not. I did, and you know, it felt better! I told the doctor about this and he thought that perhaps some cartilage or something had been "caught" and it just popped out. He also suggested that I keep it a secret as it could put the chiropractors out of business...hahahaha. It still feels good....as if it is recovering from whatever was wrong with it. Oh and my doctor told me not to do those standing leg lifts as I could throw my back out.....who knew!!!!
The Butterfly quilt is evolving. Seems every time I sit down to sew on it, I change my mind about something....the number of butterflies or how to arrange the colors. It took me 2 'go's' to figure out the weird angles I needed to cut so that my butterflies could fly diagonally. I know that if I was appliqueing them, it would be simple but I was/am determined that this will be a pieced block even if I go nutso doing it. I believe I'm at the stage where I can start putting the blocks together, or at least I will be as soon as I give them some antennae. I'll keep ya updated on this project.
My ah-hah moment this week came, as usual, while walking. I realized that although I did make a list of 'goals', I wasn't honest with myself about my heart-of-the-heart goals. There are several things I would like to work towards, but I'm so intimidated by those goals, that I can't even give them a voice. I have them tucked away in my head and think about them alot, but if I speak them or write them they'll be out there in the Universe and I might actually have to do something about them. I can't right now, I'm hobbled up with my day to day living and the short term future. I feel like I'm waiting for the big SIX OH to come and go, and the next trip to Sunnyville to run it's course. We've just discovered that something is wrong with the wiring for the main floor baseboard heaters. We'll have to call an electrician in and that scares the bejeepers out of me. Who knows what he'll find once he starts digging in there....I see $$$$ flying out the window and am afraid the cost of this may jeopardize Sunnyville - and that would not be good. Really NOT good. I can't get started worrying about the money thing. I have so many issues concerning money and all the places it is going and will need to go over the next 12 months that my chest gets tight thinking about it. Sorry Sweetie, didn't mean to pass that particular hangup on to you. Hopefully, if I tiptoe really softly, everything will work out just fine.
On a happier note, although I weep to see the end of our very short and late summer, Fall is my most favourite time of the year. I am looking forward to the colors, the deep flavours and smells, and my snuggly fleece. Wrap it up, put it on a wreath and send the bill to the Universe!
*Much Ado About Nothing-#1
I could not get my Betterhalf to come out to the garden with me so I went ahead and did a couple of simple sketches and some preplanning. Turns out, he was 'into' getting the garden sorted out so we spent a couple of hours on the first day and got the front cleaned up and added some new soil and the next day we spent a combined total of about 6 or 7 hours moving, cleaning, removing things from the back gardens. We are both very happy and have only a bit a work left.....after all we just couldn't cut down the only flowers that are still blooming out there just to accommodate some lilies that are on the moving list. There will be time in October for that bit of work once the flowers are spent (or frozen!!!)
I also went to see the doctor for my physical....seems I missed last year. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. He seems to have mellowed over the years and (lucky me) I'm in relatively good health. My only real complaint these days is that my knee is achy when I climb stairs and my shoulder has been cranky for the last couple of weeks. About the shoulder, an interesting thing happened. Since it started hurting me the recurring chant of my Chinese Tai Chi For Health instructor was rolling around in my head. She taught us some tapping techniques that were meant to stimulate the pressure points along the energy pathways of the body. We would do each arm, the chest, the hips and both legs (it's been quite awhile and I can't remember the whole sequence). As we would tap our arms she would say loudly "No more frozen shoulder". Anyway, it hurt to lift my arm and I was trying to figure out what to do about it. I was standing at the ironing board (ironing all those white squares) and decided I would do some leg lifts (no they won't help my shoulder but they could help my thighs) and I stretched out my arm to put use the ironing board for balance. When I brought my hand down to the board I miscalculated the distance (okay, I was watching TV) and touched the inside of my wrist on the tip of the hot iron. AutoResponse kicked in and I yanked my arm straight up and heard a "pop" in my shoulder. Yikes, I didn't know whether I should move arm from the straight up position or not. I did, and you know, it felt better! I told the doctor about this and he thought that perhaps some cartilage or something had been "caught" and it just popped out. He also suggested that I keep it a secret as it could put the chiropractors out of business...hahahaha. It still feels good....as if it is recovering from whatever was wrong with it. Oh and my doctor told me not to do those standing leg lifts as I could throw my back out.....who knew!!!!
The Butterfly quilt is evolving. Seems every time I sit down to sew on it, I change my mind about something....the number of butterflies or how to arrange the colors. It took me 2 'go's' to figure out the weird angles I needed to cut so that my butterflies could fly diagonally. I know that if I was appliqueing them, it would be simple but I was/am determined that this will be a pieced block even if I go nutso doing it. I believe I'm at the stage where I can start putting the blocks together, or at least I will be as soon as I give them some antennae. I'll keep ya updated on this project.
My ah-hah moment this week came, as usual, while walking. I realized that although I did make a list of 'goals', I wasn't honest with myself about my heart-of-the-heart goals. There are several things I would like to work towards, but I'm so intimidated by those goals, that I can't even give them a voice. I have them tucked away in my head and think about them alot, but if I speak them or write them they'll be out there in the Universe and I might actually have to do something about them. I can't right now, I'm hobbled up with my day to day living and the short term future. I feel like I'm waiting for the big SIX OH to come and go, and the next trip to Sunnyville to run it's course. We've just discovered that something is wrong with the wiring for the main floor baseboard heaters. We'll have to call an electrician in and that scares the bejeepers out of me. Who knows what he'll find once he starts digging in there....I see $$$$ flying out the window and am afraid the cost of this may jeopardize Sunnyville - and that would not be good. Really NOT good. I can't get started worrying about the money thing. I have so many issues concerning money and all the places it is going and will need to go over the next 12 months that my chest gets tight thinking about it. Sorry Sweetie, didn't mean to pass that particular hangup on to you. Hopefully, if I tiptoe really softly, everything will work out just fine.
On a happier note, although I weep to see the end of our very short and late summer, Fall is my most favourite time of the year. I am looking forward to the colors, the deep flavours and smells, and my snuggly fleece. Wrap it up, put it on a wreath and send the bill to the Universe!
*Much Ado About Nothing-#1
Thursday, September 10, 2009
BusyBee
So we're a couple of days down the road and true to my word I sat down and wrote out some goals. I was so flush with the doing of that small task that I have actually gotten back on track with my walking and weight loss. My Accomplishment List reads like a "Get off you butt and finish it" list, but it has proven successful in that I was able to pick up the discarded second purse and spent the day finishing it. I absolutely love it and it has turned out just the way I saw it in my head. I also went to the fabric store and selected the fabrics to get on with a butterfly quilt for my second granddaughter and even managed to figure out the layout, batting and backing. (Everything is a huge list of choices and decisions for me...nothing simple). I cut out a pile of 9" white on white blocks , stitched, turned and pressed them ready to be sewn into the cathedral windows quilt I'm working on for my oldest granddaughter. Repaired a dresser drawer that was dragging, splurged on a floating glass shelf for my sewing room so now I have a place to set my pin cushion and rotary cutter and finally, finally, finally, my rulers have a home. I love that it doesn't even look like it's there...no ugly brackets to look at. And lastly I've spent a total of about 5 hours trying to figure out how to repair my corner lazy susan in the kitchen. It did something weird a couple of months ago and it took my Betterhalf and I two days to get it sorted out. Apparently we didn't since whatever we did came undone but worse. I have no idea if this new "fix" will hold or not, but I took the front panels off the turntables, cleaned underneath all that stuff, lifted up the shelves a bit, shimmed up the panels so I could reinstall them (that was a flash of brilliance so thank you Guardian Angel) and it is again running like a dream.
I have even gone so far as to allow the new unfinished projects to come into my thoughts. I volunteered to make a couple of stained glass panels for my daughter's front door sidelights. I did take a sketch of the windows but that's as far as it had gone. Now I have a great idea for the design (thank's for the suggestions sweetie) and I think I've figured out what I want to do for the framing and just need to get a little help to implement that part of the project.
With September being here I am already anxious to plot out the garden for next year, and do some of the fall clean up/moving. And I am vowing now to work at little harder at helping the garden to be it's best. I have a bunch of ideas but the trick it to meld my ideas with those of my Betterhalf. It's on the list for us to go out there together with a pencil and paper and discuss what each of us would like to see done and make notes of it all. Here's hoping someone doesn't have that pencil sticking out of a body part when we're done.
#1Son is settling in nicely I think, although we have to do a bit of tweaking in his room to make it a little more functional. I know it is early days yet, but it is kind of nice of have him back home again.
Can you believe Halloween stuff is in the stores? That's just way too fast for me. I want to savour these final Indian Summer days while reviewing my Goals List. I have way to much to accomplish before the big BD arrives and I know for sure that I want to stand up on that day in front of a mirror and say "You did a good job! Enjoy the next 30 years of your life!"
I have even gone so far as to allow the new unfinished projects to come into my thoughts. I volunteered to make a couple of stained glass panels for my daughter's front door sidelights. I did take a sketch of the windows but that's as far as it had gone. Now I have a great idea for the design (thank's for the suggestions sweetie) and I think I've figured out what I want to do for the framing and just need to get a little help to implement that part of the project.
With September being here I am already anxious to plot out the garden for next year, and do some of the fall clean up/moving. And I am vowing now to work at little harder at helping the garden to be it's best. I have a bunch of ideas but the trick it to meld my ideas with those of my Betterhalf. It's on the list for us to go out there together with a pencil and paper and discuss what each of us would like to see done and make notes of it all. Here's hoping someone doesn't have that pencil sticking out of a body part when we're done.
#1Son is settling in nicely I think, although we have to do a bit of tweaking in his room to make it a little more functional. I know it is early days yet, but it is kind of nice of have him back home again.
Can you believe Halloween stuff is in the stores? That's just way too fast for me. I want to savour these final Indian Summer days while reviewing my Goals List. I have way to much to accomplish before the big BD arrives and I know for sure that I want to stand up on that day in front of a mirror and say "You did a good job! Enjoy the next 30 years of your life!"
Friday, September 4, 2009
FunkyTimes
So I feel as though I’ve been dragging myself from one thing to another. Drag myself out of bed in the morning, drag myself away from the TV after sipping coffee for about an hour, drag myself back upstairs to get dressed, drag myself into the sewing room to stand and look at my USP's (unfinished sewing projects), heave numerous sighs and re-establish myself on the sofa to waste yet more time watching TV. It’s interesting that I cannot seem to drag myself out for a walk or even as far as the garden to pull a weed or share a drop of water. I am not sure if this depression is “sixty” related, or seasonal, or sheer boredom. I’m hoping to explore this with this post.
I haven’t been totally inactive since my last post. I did finish the ‘spare’ room and it is ready for my son to move into, I did decide to have a TV jack installed in my sewing room which opened a 2 day job. It is a VERY small room and everything is against the walls, so I had to move stuff (lots of stuff) in order for the installer to work. That got my brain working and I decided to graph the room and my essential pieces and see what I could come up with. (The cable installation ended up a nightmare and took 3 days to get a 15 minute job done…good news, they did it for free). So from the graphing I did I was sure that if I moved my sewing table to the back wall, moved the cutting table to the wall opposite from where it was and put the ironing board where the cutting table was I could get more room….how is that possible??? Up I went and started moving stuff around and as it seemed to be working I had a flash of brilliance--if I brought up the old 2-drawer file cabinet I was going to ditch I could use it to set the tv on, put a false top on it to marry up with the false top on the sewing table and could actually double my counter space. So I moved those pieces in and sure enough they worked AND I still had space so I was able to bring back in the two multi-drawer towers I thought I was going to lose, so I have even more storage. Funny how things work…since I’ve been in the room for about 3 or 4 years and thought I had tried every configuration. Apparently not. The bonus is that for the $25 I invested I got a stool the right height, a magnet strip with very cool magnets, and a 4 x 4 felt board mounted on the wall for laying out my quilt blocks. Not bad at all.
I was encouraged enough by the moving success to haul out, start and complete one of my sewing projects. I had decided to make 2 purses to donate to a silent auction. I finished one and am struggling with the second one (I don’t know why it won’t go together right) so I have left it limp and ragged on the ironing board for another day.
That little failure or semi-failure got me feeling sorry for myself yet again. I feel almost desperate to find something useful to do with my time. I have even seriously considered going back to work part-time but with a 4 month winter holiday planned and my pension just starting it doesn’t make much sense. I’m thinking of looking into volunteer work…maybe I can get something officey to do where they wouldn’t mind if I took 4 months off. I also went down to our local senior’s center to see what classes are starting up (tis the season after all). There are several quilting class and about 4 different types of painting. Nice thoughts but I’m already up to my eyeballs in quilt projects and my previous attempts at watercolor and acrylic have indicated that I need some drawing lessons for sure. I did sign up for a one-day basket weaving class so am looking forward to that.
It all makes me ‘wish’ that I had a skill I could offer to teach others. I noticed that a lady I used to work with is now doing a couple of ‘demo-classes’ that include cookie baking with kids at one of our local grocery stores. I am envious that she has this to plan, organize and look forward to. My ideal would be to have enough money to buy a building where I could live upstairs and have a quilt-shop-drop-in-coffee place below. I wouldn’t want to have to earn my rent from the shop so I’d need to be financially independent. Know where I can buy a winning lottery ticket?
I think that part of my problem is from not setting goals. I used to sit down every December and draw up a new budget sheet, write out a “List of Accomplishments for XXXX (year)” and make a list of “Goals for XXXX (year)”. It used to be things like “visit my folks 4 times this year”, “pay cash for summer holiday” “save $xxx by December 31st”. I used to have about 10-20 things on my Goals list and usually way more than that on my Accomplishment list. Accomplishment is very important to me and I think it is the ruler against which I measure the rest of my life. Whether that accomplishment is getting the dusting done or helping my daughter out or phoning a friend…I really need to accomplish something everyday for that day to be worthwhile. Because I haven’t set any goals for this year (or last year for that matter) I feel very adrift, kind of meandering from day to day with no purpose and no destination. (I believe I have had an AH HA moment here, and will commit to writing myself some goals).
With that said I feel as if I have accomplished the purpose of this particular post. I have discovered an answer of sorts and am willing to cling to it as if it were a life raft. Thanks for listening.
I haven’t been totally inactive since my last post. I did finish the ‘spare’ room and it is ready for my son to move into, I did decide to have a TV jack installed in my sewing room which opened a 2 day job. It is a VERY small room and everything is against the walls, so I had to move stuff (lots of stuff) in order for the installer to work. That got my brain working and I decided to graph the room and my essential pieces and see what I could come up with. (The cable installation ended up a nightmare and took 3 days to get a 15 minute job done…good news, they did it for free). So from the graphing I did I was sure that if I moved my sewing table to the back wall, moved the cutting table to the wall opposite from where it was and put the ironing board where the cutting table was I could get more room….how is that possible??? Up I went and started moving stuff around and as it seemed to be working I had a flash of brilliance--if I brought up the old 2-drawer file cabinet I was going to ditch I could use it to set the tv on, put a false top on it to marry up with the false top on the sewing table and could actually double my counter space. So I moved those pieces in and sure enough they worked AND I still had space so I was able to bring back in the two multi-drawer towers I thought I was going to lose, so I have even more storage. Funny how things work…since I’ve been in the room for about 3 or 4 years and thought I had tried every configuration. Apparently not. The bonus is that for the $25 I invested I got a stool the right height, a magnet strip with very cool magnets, and a 4 x 4 felt board mounted on the wall for laying out my quilt blocks. Not bad at all.
I was encouraged enough by the moving success to haul out, start and complete one of my sewing projects. I had decided to make 2 purses to donate to a silent auction. I finished one and am struggling with the second one (I don’t know why it won’t go together right) so I have left it limp and ragged on the ironing board for another day.
That little failure or semi-failure got me feeling sorry for myself yet again. I feel almost desperate to find something useful to do with my time. I have even seriously considered going back to work part-time but with a 4 month winter holiday planned and my pension just starting it doesn’t make much sense. I’m thinking of looking into volunteer work…maybe I can get something officey to do where they wouldn’t mind if I took 4 months off. I also went down to our local senior’s center to see what classes are starting up (tis the season after all). There are several quilting class and about 4 different types of painting. Nice thoughts but I’m already up to my eyeballs in quilt projects and my previous attempts at watercolor and acrylic have indicated that I need some drawing lessons for sure. I did sign up for a one-day basket weaving class so am looking forward to that.
It all makes me ‘wish’ that I had a skill I could offer to teach others. I noticed that a lady I used to work with is now doing a couple of ‘demo-classes’ that include cookie baking with kids at one of our local grocery stores. I am envious that she has this to plan, organize and look forward to. My ideal would be to have enough money to buy a building where I could live upstairs and have a quilt-shop-drop-in-coffee place below. I wouldn’t want to have to earn my rent from the shop so I’d need to be financially independent. Know where I can buy a winning lottery ticket?
I think that part of my problem is from not setting goals. I used to sit down every December and draw up a new budget sheet, write out a “List of Accomplishments for XXXX (year)” and make a list of “Goals for XXXX (year)”. It used to be things like “visit my folks 4 times this year”, “pay cash for summer holiday” “save $xxx by December 31st”. I used to have about 10-20 things on my Goals list and usually way more than that on my Accomplishment list. Accomplishment is very important to me and I think it is the ruler against which I measure the rest of my life. Whether that accomplishment is getting the dusting done or helping my daughter out or phoning a friend…I really need to accomplish something everyday for that day to be worthwhile. Because I haven’t set any goals for this year (or last year for that matter) I feel very adrift, kind of meandering from day to day with no purpose and no destination. (I believe I have had an AH HA moment here, and will commit to writing myself some goals).
With that said I feel as if I have accomplished the purpose of this particular post. I have discovered an answer of sorts and am willing to cling to it as if it were a life raft. Thanks for listening.
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