Well, the big day has come and gone. A party was indeed planned and sprung for Saturday night with several friends in attendance. The biggest surprise was my oldest sister and my niece and a wonderful surprise it was. I was thoroughly delighted to see them .... all. By the time last night arrived....the closing hours of the 60th birthday day, I was relieved to sit on my sofa fairly secure in the knowledge that it was now officially done. I figure by the time I reach 75, no one will have the energy or desire to make me the centre of attention and it will be allowed to slide by with me making my own hooplah in whatever way suits me.
Thanks to my better half. I appreciate the effort that went into this. Thanks to my daughter for all her contributions. Thanks to all who had their fingers in this pie and any form.
Now I'm looking forward to spending my pension $$$$.....first thing I'll be looking for is that elusive 1949 Featherlight with scrolled face plate. One day she will be mine!!!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
15 Days and Counting
Well, here we are 15 days before THE DAY and I'm not feeling any better about it. Not that I care that I'm turning 60, acutally I'll be doing a happy dance on the 17th for several reasons. First, I'll qualify for a specific pension, secondly my investment guy suggested we start payout on an old LIRA which is fine in my books, thirdly I will have lived to reach this landmark birthday relatively intact...feeling pretty good about myself despite my crappy shoulder, liking my more updated look that my daughter is helping me pull together, and looking forward to my son's wedding next year and new quilt projects I'm dreaming up.
I think the hitch comes to the 'celebration' of the day itself. Last summer I was talking with my brother about gardens and lillies and stuff and he said I'll see the layout when we come north in the fall. Hummmmmm....I didn't know you were planning to come North. My sister from Sunnyville was also there in the summer and she handed me a birthday gift, all wrapped and festive saying I won't be able to be there for your birthday. Hummmm this is about the 40th birthday she won't have attended but she's never said anything like that before. So it leads me to think that "something is afoot". I did mention this to my better half so he knew I was suspicious (and still am), but so far he has been mum about it all.
At this point I was trying to explain my birthday trepidation, but it was just too convoluted and seemed so ridulous as this age that I decided not to write it at all. When I turned 40 my better half arranged a surprise dinner for me which turned out to be great fun. We had a different life then .... I was working and we had a few couples that we chummed with and now, well, things are different and I guess it boils down to my fear of seeing people who feel obligated to attend a party simply because they do know me and have been asked to attend. Now there's some insecurity talking!
There I've put it out there. I hope I can release the knot in my gut and just go with the flow, let things happen and just be happy I've made it to 60.
Not sure what will happen to the blog once the 17th has come and gone. I'm already suspecting it will simply wither and die having served it's purpose. We shall see.
I think the hitch comes to the 'celebration' of the day itself. Last summer I was talking with my brother about gardens and lillies and stuff and he said I'll see the layout when we come north in the fall. Hummmmmm....I didn't know you were planning to come North. My sister from Sunnyville was also there in the summer and she handed me a birthday gift, all wrapped and festive saying I won't be able to be there for your birthday. Hummmm this is about the 40th birthday she won't have attended but she's never said anything like that before. So it leads me to think that "something is afoot". I did mention this to my better half so he knew I was suspicious (and still am), but so far he has been mum about it all.
At this point I was trying to explain my birthday trepidation, but it was just too convoluted and seemed so ridulous as this age that I decided not to write it at all. When I turned 40 my better half arranged a surprise dinner for me which turned out to be great fun. We had a different life then .... I was working and we had a few couples that we chummed with and now, well, things are different and I guess it boils down to my fear of seeing people who feel obligated to attend a party simply because they do know me and have been asked to attend. Now there's some insecurity talking!
There I've put it out there. I hope I can release the knot in my gut and just go with the flow, let things happen and just be happy I've made it to 60.
Not sure what will happen to the blog once the 17th has come and gone. I'm already suspecting it will simply wither and die having served it's purpose. We shall see.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Nanny, Banny Bo Banny
We have just come home from visiting the 'grands' in Midwestville. What a great time we had. My daughter and I did spend one decadent afternoon clothes shopping for Me (I've finally allowed myself to climb to the top of the list) and I am most pleased with my purchases. There were no big decorating jobs, no painting, no planting, just a couple of quick seams for a cushion cover and 2 tiny valances. It is interesting that as I look back on those 3 days I'm ashamed at how little time I actually sat down with the girls and just focused on them. I did play a couple of games of Candyland and 2 games of Shutes and Ladders with my oldest granddaughter, there was an interesting game of 'restaurant waitress' played by myself and the 2 girls involving copious amounts of pretend coffee "just right, Nanna, not hot". Where did all the other hours that ticked by go? The girls did play an interesting game with their Uncle J involving plastic play food and a tea set, WII golf with Daddy and Poppy, ran around outside, painted and made some kind of sand pies in the sandbox. We did sit and eat meals and the girls do go to bed early but really, tictoc tictoc time just slips away. Is it because they are still quite young and often play within the periphery of others without connecting directly? Is it because they really had quite a lot to do with all the extra people? Am I being unrealistic thinking that I could/should actually visit and absorb them for hours at a stretch???? Maybe it's enough to just BE the Nanna. I know I'm grateful to have them in my life. I love you my girls.
Friday, October 2, 2009
More of the Same
So here I am trying to sort out a design for a sweatshirt jacket. I've been going to make this for over a year now and I would like to have this to wear in Sunnyville. I think my biggest problem is that I don't have a jumping off point. I do have it laid out on my cutting table so I'm as close to starting this project as I've ever been. I'm sure it will come.
On the heels of those statements I must tell you that I have finished the Butterfly Quilt. It came together great and I let it tell me what style of quilting it wanted. Ended up with some embroidery floss running stitch flowers, some straight stitch machine quilting, some tying and some free motion machine quilting. I love it. Can't post any photos as I'll be delivering this quilt next weekend and don't want to spoil the surprise.
My shoulder has been doing interesting things. It does have a wider range of motion however I think the fact that something had been trapped in there has caused things to shorten and are now causing some pain as they are pressed into service. It is getting better, slowly but surely.
The wiring question has bloomed like a flower. We called in a couple of electricians and have received quotes, have made a choice altered our requirements by adding in some electrical work for our shed which of course complicated things anew. Anyway, looks as tho' we're on the schedule for this Wednesday so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully no rude surprises.
I have been feeling very 'compressed' while waiting for the electrical thing to sort out. Not much room for creativity to grow. I did some grocery shopping the other day and purchased an acorn squash (my favourite type of squash). Turned out it was terrific! So terrific that I went back today and bought a couple more. With the memory of frost on the roof and a nip in the air, bundled in my cosy fleece jacket I purchased ingredients for a beef stew which I put together this afternoon. Fantastic!!!!
No exciting reading with this post, no great dawning, no large spark of inspiration, just counting down the days to the Six-Oh. Thanks for stopping by.
On the heels of those statements I must tell you that I have finished the Butterfly Quilt. It came together great and I let it tell me what style of quilting it wanted. Ended up with some embroidery floss running stitch flowers, some straight stitch machine quilting, some tying and some free motion machine quilting. I love it. Can't post any photos as I'll be delivering this quilt next weekend and don't want to spoil the surprise.
My shoulder has been doing interesting things. It does have a wider range of motion however I think the fact that something had been trapped in there has caused things to shorten and are now causing some pain as they are pressed into service. It is getting better, slowly but surely.
The wiring question has bloomed like a flower. We called in a couple of electricians and have received quotes, have made a choice altered our requirements by adding in some electrical work for our shed which of course complicated things anew. Anyway, looks as tho' we're on the schedule for this Wednesday so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully no rude surprises.
I have been feeling very 'compressed' while waiting for the electrical thing to sort out. Not much room for creativity to grow. I did some grocery shopping the other day and purchased an acorn squash (my favourite type of squash). Turned out it was terrific! So terrific that I went back today and bought a couple more. With the memory of frost on the roof and a nip in the air, bundled in my cosy fleece jacket I purchased ingredients for a beef stew which I put together this afternoon. Fantastic!!!!
No exciting reading with this post, no great dawning, no large spark of inspiration, just counting down the days to the Six-Oh. Thanks for stopping by.
Friday, September 18, 2009
MAAN-1*
Huh! I must of broken down a damn of some sort since I haven't been able to stop "doing stuff" all week. Not that I'm complaining, I'm not. It just feels weird.
I could not get my Betterhalf to come out to the garden with me so I went ahead and did a couple of simple sketches and some preplanning. Turns out, he was 'into' getting the garden sorted out so we spent a couple of hours on the first day and got the front cleaned up and added some new soil and the next day we spent a combined total of about 6 or 7 hours moving, cleaning, removing things from the back gardens. We are both very happy and have only a bit a work left.....after all we just couldn't cut down the only flowers that are still blooming out there just to accommodate some lilies that are on the moving list. There will be time in October for that bit of work once the flowers are spent (or frozen!!!)
I also went to see the doctor for my physical....seems I missed last year. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. He seems to have mellowed over the years and (lucky me) I'm in relatively good health. My only real complaint these days is that my knee is achy when I climb stairs and my shoulder has been cranky for the last couple of weeks. About the shoulder, an interesting thing happened. Since it started hurting me the recurring chant of my Chinese Tai Chi For Health instructor was rolling around in my head. She taught us some tapping techniques that were meant to stimulate the pressure points along the energy pathways of the body. We would do each arm, the chest, the hips and both legs (it's been quite awhile and I can't remember the whole sequence). As we would tap our arms she would say loudly "No more frozen shoulder". Anyway, it hurt to lift my arm and I was trying to figure out what to do about it. I was standing at the ironing board (ironing all those white squares) and decided I would do some leg lifts (no they won't help my shoulder but they could help my thighs) and I stretched out my arm to put use the ironing board for balance. When I brought my hand down to the board I miscalculated the distance (okay, I was watching TV) and touched the inside of my wrist on the tip of the hot iron. AutoResponse kicked in and I yanked my arm straight up and heard a "pop" in my shoulder. Yikes, I didn't know whether I should move arm from the straight up position or not. I did, and you know, it felt better! I told the doctor about this and he thought that perhaps some cartilage or something had been "caught" and it just popped out. He also suggested that I keep it a secret as it could put the chiropractors out of business...hahahaha. It still feels good....as if it is recovering from whatever was wrong with it. Oh and my doctor told me not to do those standing leg lifts as I could throw my back out.....who knew!!!!
The Butterfly quilt is evolving. Seems every time I sit down to sew on it, I change my mind about something....the number of butterflies or how to arrange the colors. It took me 2 'go's' to figure out the weird angles I needed to cut so that my butterflies could fly diagonally. I know that if I was appliqueing them, it would be simple but I was/am determined that this will be a pieced block even if I go nutso doing it. I believe I'm at the stage where I can start putting the blocks together, or at least I will be as soon as I give them some antennae. I'll keep ya updated on this project.
My ah-hah moment this week came, as usual, while walking. I realized that although I did make a list of 'goals', I wasn't honest with myself about my heart-of-the-heart goals. There are several things I would like to work towards, but I'm so intimidated by those goals, that I can't even give them a voice. I have them tucked away in my head and think about them alot, but if I speak them or write them they'll be out there in the Universe and I might actually have to do something about them. I can't right now, I'm hobbled up with my day to day living and the short term future. I feel like I'm waiting for the big SIX OH to come and go, and the next trip to Sunnyville to run it's course. We've just discovered that something is wrong with the wiring for the main floor baseboard heaters. We'll have to call an electrician in and that scares the bejeepers out of me. Who knows what he'll find once he starts digging in there....I see $$$$ flying out the window and am afraid the cost of this may jeopardize Sunnyville - and that would not be good. Really NOT good. I can't get started worrying about the money thing. I have so many issues concerning money and all the places it is going and will need to go over the next 12 months that my chest gets tight thinking about it. Sorry Sweetie, didn't mean to pass that particular hangup on to you. Hopefully, if I tiptoe really softly, everything will work out just fine.
On a happier note, although I weep to see the end of our very short and late summer, Fall is my most favourite time of the year. I am looking forward to the colors, the deep flavours and smells, and my snuggly fleece. Wrap it up, put it on a wreath and send the bill to the Universe!
*Much Ado About Nothing-#1
I could not get my Betterhalf to come out to the garden with me so I went ahead and did a couple of simple sketches and some preplanning. Turns out, he was 'into' getting the garden sorted out so we spent a couple of hours on the first day and got the front cleaned up and added some new soil and the next day we spent a combined total of about 6 or 7 hours moving, cleaning, removing things from the back gardens. We are both very happy and have only a bit a work left.....after all we just couldn't cut down the only flowers that are still blooming out there just to accommodate some lilies that are on the moving list. There will be time in October for that bit of work once the flowers are spent (or frozen!!!)
I also went to see the doctor for my physical....seems I missed last year. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. He seems to have mellowed over the years and (lucky me) I'm in relatively good health. My only real complaint these days is that my knee is achy when I climb stairs and my shoulder has been cranky for the last couple of weeks. About the shoulder, an interesting thing happened. Since it started hurting me the recurring chant of my Chinese Tai Chi For Health instructor was rolling around in my head. She taught us some tapping techniques that were meant to stimulate the pressure points along the energy pathways of the body. We would do each arm, the chest, the hips and both legs (it's been quite awhile and I can't remember the whole sequence). As we would tap our arms she would say loudly "No more frozen shoulder". Anyway, it hurt to lift my arm and I was trying to figure out what to do about it. I was standing at the ironing board (ironing all those white squares) and decided I would do some leg lifts (no they won't help my shoulder but they could help my thighs) and I stretched out my arm to put use the ironing board for balance. When I brought my hand down to the board I miscalculated the distance (okay, I was watching TV) and touched the inside of my wrist on the tip of the hot iron. AutoResponse kicked in and I yanked my arm straight up and heard a "pop" in my shoulder. Yikes, I didn't know whether I should move arm from the straight up position or not. I did, and you know, it felt better! I told the doctor about this and he thought that perhaps some cartilage or something had been "caught" and it just popped out. He also suggested that I keep it a secret as it could put the chiropractors out of business...hahahaha. It still feels good....as if it is recovering from whatever was wrong with it. Oh and my doctor told me not to do those standing leg lifts as I could throw my back out.....who knew!!!!
The Butterfly quilt is evolving. Seems every time I sit down to sew on it, I change my mind about something....the number of butterflies or how to arrange the colors. It took me 2 'go's' to figure out the weird angles I needed to cut so that my butterflies could fly diagonally. I know that if I was appliqueing them, it would be simple but I was/am determined that this will be a pieced block even if I go nutso doing it. I believe I'm at the stage where I can start putting the blocks together, or at least I will be as soon as I give them some antennae. I'll keep ya updated on this project.
My ah-hah moment this week came, as usual, while walking. I realized that although I did make a list of 'goals', I wasn't honest with myself about my heart-of-the-heart goals. There are several things I would like to work towards, but I'm so intimidated by those goals, that I can't even give them a voice. I have them tucked away in my head and think about them alot, but if I speak them or write them they'll be out there in the Universe and I might actually have to do something about them. I can't right now, I'm hobbled up with my day to day living and the short term future. I feel like I'm waiting for the big SIX OH to come and go, and the next trip to Sunnyville to run it's course. We've just discovered that something is wrong with the wiring for the main floor baseboard heaters. We'll have to call an electrician in and that scares the bejeepers out of me. Who knows what he'll find once he starts digging in there....I see $$$$ flying out the window and am afraid the cost of this may jeopardize Sunnyville - and that would not be good. Really NOT good. I can't get started worrying about the money thing. I have so many issues concerning money and all the places it is going and will need to go over the next 12 months that my chest gets tight thinking about it. Sorry Sweetie, didn't mean to pass that particular hangup on to you. Hopefully, if I tiptoe really softly, everything will work out just fine.
On a happier note, although I weep to see the end of our very short and late summer, Fall is my most favourite time of the year. I am looking forward to the colors, the deep flavours and smells, and my snuggly fleece. Wrap it up, put it on a wreath and send the bill to the Universe!
*Much Ado About Nothing-#1
Thursday, September 10, 2009
BusyBee
So we're a couple of days down the road and true to my word I sat down and wrote out some goals. I was so flush with the doing of that small task that I have actually gotten back on track with my walking and weight loss. My Accomplishment List reads like a "Get off you butt and finish it" list, but it has proven successful in that I was able to pick up the discarded second purse and spent the day finishing it. I absolutely love it and it has turned out just the way I saw it in my head. I also went to the fabric store and selected the fabrics to get on with a butterfly quilt for my second granddaughter and even managed to figure out the layout, batting and backing. (Everything is a huge list of choices and decisions for me...nothing simple). I cut out a pile of 9" white on white blocks , stitched, turned and pressed them ready to be sewn into the cathedral windows quilt I'm working on for my oldest granddaughter. Repaired a dresser drawer that was dragging, splurged on a floating glass shelf for my sewing room so now I have a place to set my pin cushion and rotary cutter and finally, finally, finally, my rulers have a home. I love that it doesn't even look like it's there...no ugly brackets to look at. And lastly I've spent a total of about 5 hours trying to figure out how to repair my corner lazy susan in the kitchen. It did something weird a couple of months ago and it took my Betterhalf and I two days to get it sorted out. Apparently we didn't since whatever we did came undone but worse. I have no idea if this new "fix" will hold or not, but I took the front panels off the turntables, cleaned underneath all that stuff, lifted up the shelves a bit, shimmed up the panels so I could reinstall them (that was a flash of brilliance so thank you Guardian Angel) and it is again running like a dream.
I have even gone so far as to allow the new unfinished projects to come into my thoughts. I volunteered to make a couple of stained glass panels for my daughter's front door sidelights. I did take a sketch of the windows but that's as far as it had gone. Now I have a great idea for the design (thank's for the suggestions sweetie) and I think I've figured out what I want to do for the framing and just need to get a little help to implement that part of the project.
With September being here I am already anxious to plot out the garden for next year, and do some of the fall clean up/moving. And I am vowing now to work at little harder at helping the garden to be it's best. I have a bunch of ideas but the trick it to meld my ideas with those of my Betterhalf. It's on the list for us to go out there together with a pencil and paper and discuss what each of us would like to see done and make notes of it all. Here's hoping someone doesn't have that pencil sticking out of a body part when we're done.
#1Son is settling in nicely I think, although we have to do a bit of tweaking in his room to make it a little more functional. I know it is early days yet, but it is kind of nice of have him back home again.
Can you believe Halloween stuff is in the stores? That's just way too fast for me. I want to savour these final Indian Summer days while reviewing my Goals List. I have way to much to accomplish before the big BD arrives and I know for sure that I want to stand up on that day in front of a mirror and say "You did a good job! Enjoy the next 30 years of your life!"
I have even gone so far as to allow the new unfinished projects to come into my thoughts. I volunteered to make a couple of stained glass panels for my daughter's front door sidelights. I did take a sketch of the windows but that's as far as it had gone. Now I have a great idea for the design (thank's for the suggestions sweetie) and I think I've figured out what I want to do for the framing and just need to get a little help to implement that part of the project.
With September being here I am already anxious to plot out the garden for next year, and do some of the fall clean up/moving. And I am vowing now to work at little harder at helping the garden to be it's best. I have a bunch of ideas but the trick it to meld my ideas with those of my Betterhalf. It's on the list for us to go out there together with a pencil and paper and discuss what each of us would like to see done and make notes of it all. Here's hoping someone doesn't have that pencil sticking out of a body part when we're done.
#1Son is settling in nicely I think, although we have to do a bit of tweaking in his room to make it a little more functional. I know it is early days yet, but it is kind of nice of have him back home again.
Can you believe Halloween stuff is in the stores? That's just way too fast for me. I want to savour these final Indian Summer days while reviewing my Goals List. I have way to much to accomplish before the big BD arrives and I know for sure that I want to stand up on that day in front of a mirror and say "You did a good job! Enjoy the next 30 years of your life!"
Friday, September 4, 2009
FunkyTimes
So I feel as though I’ve been dragging myself from one thing to another. Drag myself out of bed in the morning, drag myself away from the TV after sipping coffee for about an hour, drag myself back upstairs to get dressed, drag myself into the sewing room to stand and look at my USP's (unfinished sewing projects), heave numerous sighs and re-establish myself on the sofa to waste yet more time watching TV. It’s interesting that I cannot seem to drag myself out for a walk or even as far as the garden to pull a weed or share a drop of water. I am not sure if this depression is “sixty” related, or seasonal, or sheer boredom. I’m hoping to explore this with this post.
I haven’t been totally inactive since my last post. I did finish the ‘spare’ room and it is ready for my son to move into, I did decide to have a TV jack installed in my sewing room which opened a 2 day job. It is a VERY small room and everything is against the walls, so I had to move stuff (lots of stuff) in order for the installer to work. That got my brain working and I decided to graph the room and my essential pieces and see what I could come up with. (The cable installation ended up a nightmare and took 3 days to get a 15 minute job done…good news, they did it for free). So from the graphing I did I was sure that if I moved my sewing table to the back wall, moved the cutting table to the wall opposite from where it was and put the ironing board where the cutting table was I could get more room….how is that possible??? Up I went and started moving stuff around and as it seemed to be working I had a flash of brilliance--if I brought up the old 2-drawer file cabinet I was going to ditch I could use it to set the tv on, put a false top on it to marry up with the false top on the sewing table and could actually double my counter space. So I moved those pieces in and sure enough they worked AND I still had space so I was able to bring back in the two multi-drawer towers I thought I was going to lose, so I have even more storage. Funny how things work…since I’ve been in the room for about 3 or 4 years and thought I had tried every configuration. Apparently not. The bonus is that for the $25 I invested I got a stool the right height, a magnet strip with very cool magnets, and a 4 x 4 felt board mounted on the wall for laying out my quilt blocks. Not bad at all.
I was encouraged enough by the moving success to haul out, start and complete one of my sewing projects. I had decided to make 2 purses to donate to a silent auction. I finished one and am struggling with the second one (I don’t know why it won’t go together right) so I have left it limp and ragged on the ironing board for another day.
That little failure or semi-failure got me feeling sorry for myself yet again. I feel almost desperate to find something useful to do with my time. I have even seriously considered going back to work part-time but with a 4 month winter holiday planned and my pension just starting it doesn’t make much sense. I’m thinking of looking into volunteer work…maybe I can get something officey to do where they wouldn’t mind if I took 4 months off. I also went down to our local senior’s center to see what classes are starting up (tis the season after all). There are several quilting class and about 4 different types of painting. Nice thoughts but I’m already up to my eyeballs in quilt projects and my previous attempts at watercolor and acrylic have indicated that I need some drawing lessons for sure. I did sign up for a one-day basket weaving class so am looking forward to that.
It all makes me ‘wish’ that I had a skill I could offer to teach others. I noticed that a lady I used to work with is now doing a couple of ‘demo-classes’ that include cookie baking with kids at one of our local grocery stores. I am envious that she has this to plan, organize and look forward to. My ideal would be to have enough money to buy a building where I could live upstairs and have a quilt-shop-drop-in-coffee place below. I wouldn’t want to have to earn my rent from the shop so I’d need to be financially independent. Know where I can buy a winning lottery ticket?
I think that part of my problem is from not setting goals. I used to sit down every December and draw up a new budget sheet, write out a “List of Accomplishments for XXXX (year)” and make a list of “Goals for XXXX (year)”. It used to be things like “visit my folks 4 times this year”, “pay cash for summer holiday” “save $xxx by December 31st”. I used to have about 10-20 things on my Goals list and usually way more than that on my Accomplishment list. Accomplishment is very important to me and I think it is the ruler against which I measure the rest of my life. Whether that accomplishment is getting the dusting done or helping my daughter out or phoning a friend…I really need to accomplish something everyday for that day to be worthwhile. Because I haven’t set any goals for this year (or last year for that matter) I feel very adrift, kind of meandering from day to day with no purpose and no destination. (I believe I have had an AH HA moment here, and will commit to writing myself some goals).
With that said I feel as if I have accomplished the purpose of this particular post. I have discovered an answer of sorts and am willing to cling to it as if it were a life raft. Thanks for listening.
I haven’t been totally inactive since my last post. I did finish the ‘spare’ room and it is ready for my son to move into, I did decide to have a TV jack installed in my sewing room which opened a 2 day job. It is a VERY small room and everything is against the walls, so I had to move stuff (lots of stuff) in order for the installer to work. That got my brain working and I decided to graph the room and my essential pieces and see what I could come up with. (The cable installation ended up a nightmare and took 3 days to get a 15 minute job done…good news, they did it for free). So from the graphing I did I was sure that if I moved my sewing table to the back wall, moved the cutting table to the wall opposite from where it was and put the ironing board where the cutting table was I could get more room….how is that possible??? Up I went and started moving stuff around and as it seemed to be working I had a flash of brilliance--if I brought up the old 2-drawer file cabinet I was going to ditch I could use it to set the tv on, put a false top on it to marry up with the false top on the sewing table and could actually double my counter space. So I moved those pieces in and sure enough they worked AND I still had space so I was able to bring back in the two multi-drawer towers I thought I was going to lose, so I have even more storage. Funny how things work…since I’ve been in the room for about 3 or 4 years and thought I had tried every configuration. Apparently not. The bonus is that for the $25 I invested I got a stool the right height, a magnet strip with very cool magnets, and a 4 x 4 felt board mounted on the wall for laying out my quilt blocks. Not bad at all.
I was encouraged enough by the moving success to haul out, start and complete one of my sewing projects. I had decided to make 2 purses to donate to a silent auction. I finished one and am struggling with the second one (I don’t know why it won’t go together right) so I have left it limp and ragged on the ironing board for another day.
That little failure or semi-failure got me feeling sorry for myself yet again. I feel almost desperate to find something useful to do with my time. I have even seriously considered going back to work part-time but with a 4 month winter holiday planned and my pension just starting it doesn’t make much sense. I’m thinking of looking into volunteer work…maybe I can get something officey to do where they wouldn’t mind if I took 4 months off. I also went down to our local senior’s center to see what classes are starting up (tis the season after all). There are several quilting class and about 4 different types of painting. Nice thoughts but I’m already up to my eyeballs in quilt projects and my previous attempts at watercolor and acrylic have indicated that I need some drawing lessons for sure. I did sign up for a one-day basket weaving class so am looking forward to that.
It all makes me ‘wish’ that I had a skill I could offer to teach others. I noticed that a lady I used to work with is now doing a couple of ‘demo-classes’ that include cookie baking with kids at one of our local grocery stores. I am envious that she has this to plan, organize and look forward to. My ideal would be to have enough money to buy a building where I could live upstairs and have a quilt-shop-drop-in-coffee place below. I wouldn’t want to have to earn my rent from the shop so I’d need to be financially independent. Know where I can buy a winning lottery ticket?
I think that part of my problem is from not setting goals. I used to sit down every December and draw up a new budget sheet, write out a “List of Accomplishments for XXXX (year)” and make a list of “Goals for XXXX (year)”. It used to be things like “visit my folks 4 times this year”, “pay cash for summer holiday” “save $xxx by December 31st”. I used to have about 10-20 things on my Goals list and usually way more than that on my Accomplishment list. Accomplishment is very important to me and I think it is the ruler against which I measure the rest of my life. Whether that accomplishment is getting the dusting done or helping my daughter out or phoning a friend…I really need to accomplish something everyday for that day to be worthwhile. Because I haven’t set any goals for this year (or last year for that matter) I feel very adrift, kind of meandering from day to day with no purpose and no destination. (I believe I have had an AH HA moment here, and will commit to writing myself some goals).
With that said I feel as if I have accomplished the purpose of this particular post. I have discovered an answer of sorts and am willing to cling to it as if it were a life raft. Thanks for listening.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Hide and Seek
Had a thought for a blog tonight and when I signed on I reread my "wart" posting and noticed a typo. Figured I would go in and fix it (seeing as that is an option) and TA DA I found the lost blog. Hooray. So I've decided to share it.
Yesterday I headed off to the library determined to pick up a couple of books to help support my weight loss and my search for a more meaningful life. It was the perfect library type day...overcast and raining just enough to make you scurry from house to car, from car to building, avoiding an outbreak of duelling umbrellas as you went.I hit the computer first thing as I searching specifically for a book by Teresa Tapp's that has info about exercise in 15 minutes a day. I like that concept and figure if I can spend 3 hours futzing around on the computer surely I can take 15 minutes to invest in my own well being. No books by Teresa Tapp in our library so I look up exercise and fitness to get the the Dewey numbers that will put me in the right ball park and off I go to the 613 section
I have to say in an aside here that while I love the speed and flexibility that is provided by the computer terminals I SO miss the old wooden drawers with their typed 3x5 index cards that you had to stand and leaf through. It does shine a light on my personality type since if I found a misfile I just had to fix it. I love filing....well I used to love it.
So I'm in the 613's with my head bent at the appropriate angle to read spines. My eye is caught by something with "15 minutes" on it. Turns out to the 15-Minute Pilates by Lesley Ackland. Hmm says it is "to make you longer, leaner and stronger" so it gets to start the pile. I keep looking and I see "8 Minutes Real Shapes Real Sizes". Hey, hey! even better, I can spend that extra 7 minutes working on my blog! I add Jorge Cruise to the pile and keep looking. Nothing else jumps off the shelf so I go back to the terminal and type in "working in retirement". Interesting results that have me looking in the 331 section (whatever that is). I pull a book entitled "Encore - Finding Work that Matters in the Second Half of Life". It sounds perfect so onto the pile is goes. I then hear the call of the magazines and stroll over to those funky shelves getting lured in by Money Saver, Psychology Today, Photography and House Beautiful. What can I say except I'm trying to expand my horizons. Off I happily go to check out, only to discover that three of my magazines are the NEW ones and cannot be checked out, zip, zip, zip off the pile they go. FINE! I put my books in the bag I remembered to bring and head out the the door only to set off their buzzer system. Gad, everyone looks at me as if I have a diamond necklace stashed in my pocket and one of the girls scurries over with an outstretched arm just in case I'm going to make a break for it. Oh well. They rescan the books, I go home and somehow fritter away the rest of my day trying to manipulate old photos on the computer (another blog).
Next day, again it is overcast and rainy. The only thing on my calendar is to wait for a delivery that is scheduled to arrive between 12 and 2. Sounds like a reading morning to me so I settle down with my second cup of coffee and the 8 Minutes in the Morning book (you're NOT surprised are you). He's got the usual self analysis sections, the why we overeat stuff, charts, graphs and empowerment phrases, but he has some good stuff as well. For the eating he does the divide your plate thing, 1/2 veg, 1/4 protein and 1/4 carbs....but I've been doing that for ages. The beginning exercises are very low key, and if I pick anything out of the book it will be some of the exercises he introduces later on. Apparently he has another book out but this was specifically noted as being for people who want to lose 30 pounds or more. That's me!!! I'll check out the other book another day.So I pick up the Money Saver and have a look through it....quite frankly it's all over my head so that didn't take long...well, longer than I thought because I fell asleep while reading it. I jumped awake thinking the delivery guys had come, but it was only 11.30 so I picked up the Encore book. It was actually quite depressing as it had lots of suggestions for people who had been executives, or doctors, or health care executives who all went on to be advocates for the homeless or social entrepreneurs etc. Only one guy seemed to be sort of on my level and his second career was a Walmart Greeter. Yikes....I admire people who can do that but I'd rather be clerking or cashiering. So disappointment reigns supreme. Ended up not doing any exercises today, and overate marginally at supper (probably depressed). The books are neatly stacked and waiting to go back to the library.
Oh, you think I forgot the Pilates book? Nope apparently I already have it....bought a couple of years ago and it's on the shelf in my sewing room. (insert hardy laugh here).
Yesterday I headed off to the library determined to pick up a couple of books to help support my weight loss and my search for a more meaningful life. It was the perfect library type day...overcast and raining just enough to make you scurry from house to car, from car to building, avoiding an outbreak of duelling umbrellas as you went.I hit the computer first thing as I searching specifically for a book by Teresa Tapp's that has info about exercise in 15 minutes a day. I like that concept and figure if I can spend 3 hours futzing around on the computer surely I can take 15 minutes to invest in my own well being. No books by Teresa Tapp in our library so I look up exercise and fitness to get the the Dewey numbers that will put me in the right ball park and off I go to the 613 section
I have to say in an aside here that while I love the speed and flexibility that is provided by the computer terminals I SO miss the old wooden drawers with their typed 3x5 index cards that you had to stand and leaf through. It does shine a light on my personality type since if I found a misfile I just had to fix it. I love filing....well I used to love it.
So I'm in the 613's with my head bent at the appropriate angle to read spines. My eye is caught by something with "15 minutes" on it. Turns out to the 15-Minute Pilates by Lesley Ackland. Hmm says it is "to make you longer, leaner and stronger" so it gets to start the pile. I keep looking and I see "8 Minutes Real Shapes Real Sizes". Hey, hey! even better, I can spend that extra 7 minutes working on my blog! I add Jorge Cruise to the pile and keep looking. Nothing else jumps off the shelf so I go back to the terminal and type in "working in retirement". Interesting results that have me looking in the 331 section (whatever that is). I pull a book entitled "Encore - Finding Work that Matters in the Second Half of Life". It sounds perfect so onto the pile is goes. I then hear the call of the magazines and stroll over to those funky shelves getting lured in by Money Saver, Psychology Today, Photography and House Beautiful. What can I say except I'm trying to expand my horizons. Off I happily go to check out, only to discover that three of my magazines are the NEW ones and cannot be checked out, zip, zip, zip off the pile they go. FINE! I put my books in the bag I remembered to bring and head out the the door only to set off their buzzer system. Gad, everyone looks at me as if I have a diamond necklace stashed in my pocket and one of the girls scurries over with an outstretched arm just in case I'm going to make a break for it. Oh well. They rescan the books, I go home and somehow fritter away the rest of my day trying to manipulate old photos on the computer (another blog).
Next day, again it is overcast and rainy. The only thing on my calendar is to wait for a delivery that is scheduled to arrive between 12 and 2. Sounds like a reading morning to me so I settle down with my second cup of coffee and the 8 Minutes in the Morning book (you're NOT surprised are you). He's got the usual self analysis sections, the why we overeat stuff, charts, graphs and empowerment phrases, but he has some good stuff as well. For the eating he does the divide your plate thing, 1/2 veg, 1/4 protein and 1/4 carbs....but I've been doing that for ages. The beginning exercises are very low key, and if I pick anything out of the book it will be some of the exercises he introduces later on. Apparently he has another book out but this was specifically noted as being for people who want to lose 30 pounds or more. That's me!!! I'll check out the other book another day.So I pick up the Money Saver and have a look through it....quite frankly it's all over my head so that didn't take long...well, longer than I thought because I fell asleep while reading it. I jumped awake thinking the delivery guys had come, but it was only 11.30 so I picked up the Encore book. It was actually quite depressing as it had lots of suggestions for people who had been executives, or doctors, or health care executives who all went on to be advocates for the homeless or social entrepreneurs etc. Only one guy seemed to be sort of on my level and his second career was a Walmart Greeter. Yikes....I admire people who can do that but I'd rather be clerking or cashiering. So disappointment reigns supreme. Ended up not doing any exercises today, and overate marginally at supper (probably depressed). The books are neatly stacked and waiting to go back to the library.
Oh, you think I forgot the Pilates book? Nope apparently I already have it....bought a couple of years ago and it's on the shelf in my sewing room. (insert hardy laugh here).
Sunday, August 23, 2009
You Want Warts with That?
I'm a worrier by nature. My better half says I've always been a worrier. I've worried about moves, and kids and money (a lot about money), worried about my Mom, worry now about my Dad, worrying about my son coming home and if he'll be okay with going back to school, (also worrying about his emotional well being since his dog is very sick), worried about I'll wear to his wedding next year...good grief. When we were away last winter I was worrying about the house and the 'stuff' in it and if it all burned to the ground what would I be sorry to lose. Came down to the old photos that we'll never get back and my finished quilts. I vowed I would do something about the photos before we went away again and so this past week I've been working on how to burn the family photos onto CD. I have had an album put together for a few years now (interesting mess that made at the time...it just spread and spread). I managed to trap everything into one album complete with who they are, when and where the photo was taken etc. Not fancy but certainly functional (remember the runner bean). I struggled and clicked and read the help sections and finally managed to get the photos to burn in chronological order and ended up with 3 cds, one I will give my daughter for her information, one to my son for his information and the last one I will probably put in our safety deposit box (kind of a sad commentary on my 'valuables'). It was interesting to look at all those old photos, to see a youthful self and wonder where she went. To see in a matter of seconds the birth and growth of my two children, to see us with our dogs now long gone, to see the last photos of my Mother and my Father-in-law, to see how much my Dad has aged in the last couple of years. No wonder I'm struggling with these days before 60.
As for the quilts....well if I lose them I'll just have to make more...all the while worrying about the pattern to chose and the colors to put into them. Nothing like worrying into the future.
As for the quilts....well if I lose them I'll just have to make more...all the while worrying about the pattern to chose and the colors to put into them. Nothing like worrying into the future.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Ya Gotta Laugh
Well, I just spent 40 minutes writing a blog about some books I got out of the library. Went to preview it and there it was gone. Don't know what I hit but I can tell you I'm not rewriting it. Hah, even tho it says draft autosave at 8.41 pm, it doesn't really. Can you tell I'm new at this???
Doesn't matter, at least I'm not growling.
Doesn't matter, at least I'm not growling.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Ying and Yang
When I saw these growing on my trellis this morning I was struck by
how funny and yet appropriate it was. The morning glories had been
planted here for the last few years but this year I decided to put in a
clematis and a hydrangea so they would just grow and we wouldn't have
to do anything out there. Well the clematis has not responded well to
the cooler weather and although we were away for 4 weeks they didn't look at all different on our return. In desperation to have SOMETHING
growing up the trellis I planted the scarlet runner beans. Well, the clematis is buried in there somewhere but hanging in and obviously the runner beans have been having a party. The surprise is some morning glories grew up without being noticed until the other morning when a tentative bloom poked its face out through all those big green leaves. He must have liked it out there cause he told his friends and this morning it was a riot. Hence the ying and yang. My every day life is very runner bean like -- sturdy, reliable, can take the heat, a little sense of humor (shown by the flowers) and a little on the aggressive side. The morning glories show brightness, delicacy, attractiveness, are easy minglers and almost perfect art in shape and color. I long to an easy mingler, to be bright and showy but still attract people, to be able to do even one artistic thing very well indeed.
I have tried my hand at many things over the years. Did some crochet work years ago, but it kind of fell out of fashion and my brain is not geared to actually make a sweater or anything wearable. I have done a fair bit of sewing over the years, but again, any garments I made were all rather borderline and bearably wearable. I went craft crazy for a few years. Borrowed a scroll saw, took a couple of tole painting classes and immersed myself in sawdust, paints and local craft shows. I really didn't have the painting skills required to do a great job, and never seemed to be able to take the few classes offered in order to acquire those skills. My last undertaking was stained glass work. I really enjoy working at it, but again lack the level of skill I really need to make anything fantastic. I do have a project lined up...some small window panes for my daughter's front door side lights, but nothing has actually happened with it as yet. I'm kind of hoping for an idea to grow in head....something I know she would love, but also something I could actually make and have it turn out beautifully. It's coming.
Through the last 35+ years the one 'craft' that has stayed with me is quilting. But again, I'm not a great quilter...just an enthusiastic one. I would never "do" the standard patterns, because I figured anyone could do those. I wanted to make in fabric the ideas that were floating around in my head. Sometimes I hate that creative side of my brain. It gets all these grandiose ideas and even figures out the steps in order to achieve them, but when it comes to actually making the idea a reality and doing the math to figure out those obscure blocks Ms Creativity takes a holiday and leaves me madly scribbling diagrams on reams of graph paper, a calculator in one hand and a ruler clenched in my teeth. I use painter's tape to tape fabric swatches to my wall along with a LARGE PRINT cutting list that includes equal signs showing, for example, A=dark blue print so I don't dang well forget what it was I was going to do in the first place. I have made many quilts, a couple of them I have liked a lot, and still have, and some of them I wonder what I was thinking and have managed to find homes for them. I did start making the standard blocks only to learn how difficult it really is to get all those corners square and keep all the points on your stars. The ying yang of it is that for someone so detailed oriented I'm surprised that the blocks I make are not perfect (don't give me the old adage about perfection), but I always seem to be in a hurry to move onto the next project despite the fact that quilting is not a hurry-up kind of craft. And again I never seem to be in the right place at the right time for classes that have content that would really help me. That's okay though, I'm a runner bean and I will presevere and grow and create my quilt babies.
I am currently working on a cathedral window quilt for my oldest granddaughter. She's 5 now and I'm optimistic that I'll have it done in time for her wedding. I chose it since we have been travelling a lot and I can do the hand sewing in small chunks. However, all that idle brain time led me dream up a paper pieced butterfly quilt for my other granddaughter, plus I want to make a sweatshirt jacket with all these great techniques on it, and a couple of awesome bags for the kids school auction and of course I still have the corn and beans quilt that I decided would be great exericse for me to learn how to skillfully sew triangles together. My sewing room is about 8x9 holds a converted vanity table for my sewing machine & serger, an ironing board I converted to a rectangle so I can press lengths of fabric properly, a tower of plastic drawers for my bits and bobs and a Duncan Feif table that I cannot part with (it works well as a cutting table since I can flip up the wing and spread out my fabrics on my huge cutting board). In a room that size, once I start digging out the fabrics to make selections well, it doesn't take long for it spread to the upstairs hallway, and the guest room, and the dining room table... I try very hard to keep this contained within the 4 walls of the room, but. Must be the runner bean syndrome...spread out and take over.
This brings me back to ying and yang again. I'm a bit of a neat freak so how can I keep my kitchen counters cleaned off, my laundry caught up, and my bedroom dusted, only to have hobbies that are, by their very nature, extremely messy? Think I'll take some time tomorrow and talk to those morning glories.
how funny and yet appropriate it was. The morning glories had been
planted here for the last few years but this year I decided to put in a
clematis and a hydrangea so they would just grow and we wouldn't have
to do anything out there. Well the clematis has not responded well to
the cooler weather and although we were away for 4 weeks they didn't look at all different on our return. In desperation to have SOMETHING
growing up the trellis I planted the scarlet runner beans. Well, the clematis is buried in there somewhere but hanging in and obviously the runner beans have been having a party. The surprise is some morning glories grew up without being noticed until the other morning when a tentative bloom poked its face out through all those big green leaves. He must have liked it out there cause he told his friends and this morning it was a riot. Hence the ying and yang. My every day life is very runner bean like -- sturdy, reliable, can take the heat, a little sense of humor (shown by the flowers) and a little on the aggressive side. The morning glories show brightness, delicacy, attractiveness, are easy minglers and almost perfect art in shape and color. I long to an easy mingler, to be bright and showy but still attract people, to be able to do even one artistic thing very well indeed.
I have tried my hand at many things over the years. Did some crochet work years ago, but it kind of fell out of fashion and my brain is not geared to actually make a sweater or anything wearable. I have done a fair bit of sewing over the years, but again, any garments I made were all rather borderline and bearably wearable. I went craft crazy for a few years. Borrowed a scroll saw, took a couple of tole painting classes and immersed myself in sawdust, paints and local craft shows. I really didn't have the painting skills required to do a great job, and never seemed to be able to take the few classes offered in order to acquire those skills. My last undertaking was stained glass work. I really enjoy working at it, but again lack the level of skill I really need to make anything fantastic. I do have a project lined up...some small window panes for my daughter's front door side lights, but nothing has actually happened with it as yet. I'm kind of hoping for an idea to grow in head....something I know she would love, but also something I could actually make and have it turn out beautifully. It's coming.
Through the last 35+ years the one 'craft' that has stayed with me is quilting. But again, I'm not a great quilter...just an enthusiastic one. I would never "do" the standard patterns, because I figured anyone could do those. I wanted to make in fabric the ideas that were floating around in my head. Sometimes I hate that creative side of my brain. It gets all these grandiose ideas and even figures out the steps in order to achieve them, but when it comes to actually making the idea a reality and doing the math to figure out those obscure blocks Ms Creativity takes a holiday and leaves me madly scribbling diagrams on reams of graph paper, a calculator in one hand and a ruler clenched in my teeth. I use painter's tape to tape fabric swatches to my wall along with a LARGE PRINT cutting list that includes equal signs showing, for example, A=dark blue print so I don't dang well forget what it was I was going to do in the first place. I have made many quilts, a couple of them I have liked a lot, and still have, and some of them I wonder what I was thinking and have managed to find homes for them. I did start making the standard blocks only to learn how difficult it really is to get all those corners square and keep all the points on your stars. The ying yang of it is that for someone so detailed oriented I'm surprised that the blocks I make are not perfect (don't give me the old adage about perfection), but I always seem to be in a hurry to move onto the next project despite the fact that quilting is not a hurry-up kind of craft. And again I never seem to be in the right place at the right time for classes that have content that would really help me. That's okay though, I'm a runner bean and I will presevere and grow and create my quilt babies.
I am currently working on a cathedral window quilt for my oldest granddaughter. She's 5 now and I'm optimistic that I'll have it done in time for her wedding. I chose it since we have been travelling a lot and I can do the hand sewing in small chunks. However, all that idle brain time led me dream up a paper pieced butterfly quilt for my other granddaughter, plus I want to make a sweatshirt jacket with all these great techniques on it, and a couple of awesome bags for the kids school auction and of course I still have the corn and beans quilt that I decided would be great exericse for me to learn how to skillfully sew triangles together. My sewing room is about 8x9 holds a converted vanity table for my sewing machine & serger, an ironing board I converted to a rectangle so I can press lengths of fabric properly, a tower of plastic drawers for my bits and bobs and a Duncan Feif table that I cannot part with (it works well as a cutting table since I can flip up the wing and spread out my fabrics on my huge cutting board). In a room that size, once I start digging out the fabrics to make selections well, it doesn't take long for it spread to the upstairs hallway, and the guest room, and the dining room table... I try very hard to keep this contained within the 4 walls of the room, but. Must be the runner bean syndrome...spread out and take over.
This brings me back to ying and yang again. I'm a bit of a neat freak so how can I keep my kitchen counters cleaned off, my laundry caught up, and my bedroom dusted, only to have hobbies that are, by their very nature, extremely messy? Think I'll take some time tomorrow and talk to those morning glories.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Beginning (wa-wa-wa)
There are 92 days until I turn 60. I am not afraid of it….it’s just a number. I do not feel the breath of death on the back of my neck since there is a lot of longevity in my family. My Mother’s mother lived to 96, my Mother lived to 85, my Father’s mother lived to 96 and my Father is now kicking the Government’s pension butt at the age of 91 ½. I know that does not provide any guarantees for me, but it does give me hope that if I take some reasonable care I too can expect long life.
While these statistics form a great base, they also bring with them two major concerns. First of all, will I have enough money to live on? I think I’d need a crystal ball to figure that one out, especially as we (like huge numbers of people) are still smarting from getting our investments spanked in the recession. (please note that while I have my knickers in a knot over this stuff, my husband seems to be able to just roll with the punches and doesn’t get upset over things he, well, cannot change). My second concern is the fact that as far as I can tell I haven’t yet grown up enough to be 60. I still feel like I’m waiting for adulthood to punch me in the stomach and I’ll wake up that morning and put on support hose, tie up oxfords and a floral housedress.
My Mother, a stay at home Mom, always seemed to be so sensible, as did my best friend’s Mother, who worked out of the home and seemed much more modern than my Mom. I don’t ever recall my Mother being goofy, and laughing till tears rolled down her face and I never saw her sit in a comfy chair and throw a leg over the arm of it. I’m sure she did what she thought was expected of her, and now that I’m into those same years I often wonder how on earth she didn’t die of boredom.
When I look at myself I see a woman, certainly, one who is struggling with her weight and who peers into the mirror and wonders where the heck all those wrinkles and grey hairs came from. I don’t feel much different inside than I did when I was in my late thirties. I also see someone who eagerly awaits the next new experience, who wants desperately to learn and do “things”, one who feels that at any moment now I WILL find that niche where I belong.
I love spending adult time with my thirty-something daughter, with whom I have a physic connection. We share a love for romantic movies (okay, any ChicFlic), Hellofagood chip dip and the now forbidden red licorice (we have both developed a reaction to the red dye). We pick the same items up when we’re shopping even tho’ we are an aisle away from each other and we have been known on more than one occasion to nearly bust a gut laughing at some ridiculous happening.
I am looking forward to getting to know my Son as the man he has become. He has been away from home for about 10 years now and has come full circle to come back home to continue his education. He has also become engaged with a wedding date of next August. I think it will be quite a year.
Having said these things I wonder if I am only now feeling the effects of the ‘empty nest syndrome’. I worked all of my adult life, leaving my kids with babysitters in the belief that all would be well and I was doing the modern right thing. The jury’s still out on that one. In ’96 the company I was working for closed their local office effectively putting me out of work and I spent ummm 3 years thinking and reflecting and taking an accounting course, only to end up applying at a fabric store to become a store clerk. I worked there for 8 years (more or less) and I loved it there, even tho’ the shifting of fabric bolts is much harder/heavier than anyone would ever suspect. My friends were there, my social circle came out of there and the ‘who am I’ came from there. But when my husband decided to retire and start travelling to wherever it’s warm in the winter, I also retired. That was in August 08 and although we have kept busy I now find myself in limboland, not really sure that warm winters are the best solution for me, and not sure if staying home with a diminished social circle would be any better.
And so it has begun. Heading for 60 and looking for answers
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